In all fairness, we used to have quite a few alternatives to the tantalizing American lifestyle.
Paris was once the greatest place on Earth (say, up until seventy years ago). Our thinkers and scientists were underwriting the future of civilization every morning for breakfast (up until a century ago) and our women defined style, wit and sex-appeal, until they all turned into depressed bourgeoises. Finally, Frenchmen had once mastered a brilliant mix of style and virility, with brains and good looks to match, that defined an enduring Hollywood stereotype well into… the 1950’s.
Our current breed of Frenchmen are whiny, impoverished, illiterate, indecisive, and intellectually and morally weak. They no longer have anything to offer. The European identity crisis that has been in full swing for over half a century has now overtaken us with the epidemic significance of nationwide erectile dysfunction.
We are on strike against who we used to be. Unable to regroup and find enough greatness amidst our ranks to keep on dreaming the dream of just being ourselves, we turn instead – like the rest of the world – to the American dream.
So, instead of suffering the current hardships of our once-great Country, instead of waiting for some pathetically watered-down version of the US to come to France, just take the leap and move here right now, with my “Nine Steps to Doing America” safely tucked away in your suitcase for quick reference.
Excerpts from chapter 1 – Why We Are Excellent in Make it Big in the USA, Jean-Pierre Ledauphin, 2012. Translation by Wallace B. Thompson
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