Super Bowl 2012 kickoff time is 6:20 pm EST today. If you happen to catch this post now, it is likely that you are not participating in an American social ritual as significant as Thanksgiving or New Year’s Eve, only on TV. Why are you reading this?
It’s not about sports of course. Super Bowl Sunday is about the party, the gallons of beers and tons of chips you should be sharing with friends in front of an oversized plasma screen. Nothing else could make four to five hours of the most jerky TV experience ever designed for the human brain even remotely tolerable. The endless back and forth between game, commercials, commentaries, stats, more commercials and a little more game can only be appreciated in the company of fellow detainees.
If you are not participating in this ritual, just know that you are a complete disappointment to announcers, the beer and chips industry and most of your friends… over 111,000,000 of them to be exact (for reference, an estimated 111 million people watched the Green Bay Packers and the Pittsburgh Steelers in 2011).
What’s your excuse? You might be a foreigner who doesn’t care at all about American football, you might be trapped under a rock in the Grand Canyon (you’re trying to reach your friends so they can rescue you but they are all drunk and watching TV… all your smart phone allows you to make contact with is this lousy post. Sorry).
It’s also possible that you really don’t care for this specific ritual, that you don’t have any friends. Several years ago, something terrible happened to you as you were watching the Super Bowl and you vowed to stay away from it for the rest of your life so as to avoid the memory of that fateful experience. Your deepest moral and philosophical beliefs keep you away from either football, TV, beer, chips, friends, or any combination of those. Seriously, what’s your excuse? I am curious.
So curious that I am respectfully asking for your cooperation in a real-time experiment in social study. Go ahead, use the comment box below. If you happen to see this post between 6:20 pm and 9:30 pm EST today (February 5, 2012), drop me a line. Tell me what you are doing and why you are not like 110 million people.